The Mishaps of the Strawhat Cook
by Soultail Omega-Light
Summary: This is a collaborative story with silverwolfsakura16 about a certain cook that lost his touch in the culinary talents, but will that food be so disgusting to revive the dead shichibukai, Sir Crocodile?
1. Zoro's Point of View

The Mishaps of the Strawhat Cook

_A collaborative story by Silverwolfsakura16 and Soultail Omega-Light_

_Authors' Note: This is a small idea that is based on a funny conversation about the events that could happen, might happen when it comes to a certain cook that had lost his touch in culinary arts, thus, it will be a bad week for everyone._

_Disclaimer: We do not own The Mugiwara pirates, Sir Crocodile, nor Sanji, they belong to Odo-sama, the mishaps and other situations are ours._

[_Zoro's point of view_]

In all my life, I am surprise to see that the Ero Cook is losing his touch to his creations, even Nami is getting really disappointed in his meals, that it's becoming really sad.

....

Damn, I hate telling this story when I already lost my respect to him since day one, but for the sake of Luffy, our captain and friend, I might as well tell this.

It was after the fight with the Baroque Works and the (_shichibukai_) Sir Crocodile, Sanji has become somewhat distant in his creations that even Usopp, our marksmanship crewmember, has lost his appitite.

"It tastes funny..." Chopper, our new member and medical reindeer, commented after a while as he tasted some of the cook's dinner meal one night.

"**Ugghhhh!!! Sanji-kun!! What the hell is this?!?!?!**" Nami exclaimed as she made a face of disgust and fury at him.

"**I thought the meals that you made were delicious!!**"

"..." Luffy said as he ate the meal anyway.

I don't know if I should be amazed or disgusted with Luffy's habits, but I can't say for myself since I am in that kind of way half of the time and he is the captain.

Usopp always make a scene since he is a liar, even through his teeth and that long nose of his to make up so many false stories it's sad, yet, this time, his lies can't hide the fact that the food was bad.

I really can't handle another bite of the meal since it was really that bad to my tastes and from what I heard from Sanji a few months ago as we were arriving to Winter Island that he cooks the freshest vegetables and meats for Nami and the rest, ie the leftovers, to us. Smoking bastard of a cook.

"Oi. I think I'll pass on the meal, as I can't stand it at all." I said as I was being serious and my face is contorted in "losing-my-appitite-after-several-bites" look.

"B...B....But, Nami-cwan... I can explain.." Sanji studdered as he was getting really nervious of Nami's poundings on his being.

I have no problem in watching Nami beat up on Ero Cook at other times, but for the present, I didn't think it was a good time to beat the hell out of the Ero Cook, so I gotten up and grabbed her wrist before she made the first strike upon him.

"**Zoro!! What the hell are you doing?!?!? Let me go!!**" Nami yelled as she got into my face, red with fury.

"Oi, save the bashings on Sanji for later, right now, we need to figure out what the hell is wrong with him since he is out of it at this moment." I calmly explained to her as she looked like she was extremely pissed off at the current events, thus I let her go.

.....

At times like this, I had the urge to train hard, just to get my mind off of the stressful situations, while focusing on my endurance.

Yet, the navigator kept getting on my nerves, saying that she is worry about Sanji and all the other stuff that I had to block out her conversations to the point of not caring.

"**HEY!! ZORO!! WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!?!?!**" She yelled at me as I was on the topside deck, practicing my sword mastery while swinging with a great amount of weight that I didn't care to reply before I was smacked upside the head with her Clima Tact, which really hurt after ten to twenty seconds from the impact.

"**HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL, WOMAN?!?! WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIT ME?!?!?**" I howled at her while rubbing my head from the impact with my hand.

"**YOU WERE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS SAYING, ZORO!!!**" she roared back as we were furious with each other.

While Nami and I were arguing, we didn't noticed that Sanji was brooding over the fact that he is losing his artistic touch, which is kind of sad to see him in that kind of mood.

"**UGGGHHHHH!!!! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU, ZORO!!!**" She sighed in frustration as she stormed away from the area, steam coming out of her ears.

"I feel sorry for Sanji. I wonder what caused him to lose his talent?" Chopper asked Usopp as he was hiding behind him, which the liar was hiding behind the mast, clearly afraid of Nami when she is pissed off.

"You know, I am wondering that myself, Chopper." he replied to Chopper's inquiery.

..............

Later on that day, whatever the time is, I can't remember as I was peacefully sleeping on deck, soaking in the sunlight that I really didn't care until that Ero Cook stomped on my chest to wake me up.

"Oi!! What the hell was that for?" I said while gumbling in slumber mood, yawning in annoyance and scratching the back of my head from the slumber.

"Hey Shit head!! I need your opinion on this!" Sanji said as he presented a plateful of cake that he was going to give to Nami to make up the failure of his creation.

I stared at it for a bit before shrugging my shoulders and taking the plate and fork, tasting the cake before spitting the bite out of my mouth. "**OI!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? EVEN YOU FAILED IN BAKING A CAKE!!**"

"**SCREW YOU, MARIMO!!!**" He yelled back at me, which he tried to kick me in the head, but thank God for my luck, he missed and accidentally knocked Chopper into the water.

"**AHHHH!!! HELP!! HELP!! I CAN'T SWIM!!**" Chopper cried as he was struggling to stay afloat on the water.

Crap, I forgot that Devil Fruit users are bad swimmers, thus, I had to jump in and save him before he was gone, which lasted about twenty minutes before we were on board, soaking wet and tired.

"_Damn that Ero Cook for that uncalled for attack on Chopper._" I thought to myself as I stood up and grumbling, getting a cold ale to settle my nerves from the excitement.

"Are you alright, Chopper?" Nami asked him as she was drying him off with a towel.

"Yes, I am. Thanks to Zoro." Chopper replied to Nami's concern.

"**SANJI-KUN!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU FOR KICKING CHOPPER LIKE THAT?!?**" She screeched at him with her trademark fury.

"N...N...Nami-cwan.... I am sorry..." The Ero Cook was really in hot water now, no pun intended.

.......

Well, after that interesting bashing from Nami upon Sanji earlier in the evening, I was on duty in the lookout at the Crow's Nest that night, which was kind of hard to see what is going on with no stars out by the clouds blocking out the light.

"_Why do I have some guilt in making the Ero Cook's life a living hell when I wasn't the one who made him lose his touch?_" I asked myself while focusing on the horizon.

As I continued with the lookout, I heard the noises of Luffy and Sanji fighting over the food that Sanji thought he threw away, when it was Luffy, the cast iron stomach of his, who was eating them.

"**Baka!!**" I heard Nami screeching out in Sanji's defense.

What she saw in the Ero Cook, I'll never even find out.

Within a few minutes of the noises, I saw him running towards the railing on the stern side, throwing up from the case of severe food poisoning, which from personal experience, wasn't a fun trip.

"Oi! Luffy! Are you ok?"

"Yeah... I am ok, Zoro..." Luffy lied.

He looked sickly green from the food poisoning that Chopper had to force him to stay in bed for the next few weeks.

"Damn, that is a bad week from the beginning." I stated in the matter of fact tone as I sighed in annoyance.

**More to come....**

_Soul's statements: That is fun to make the situation of the bad cooking of Sanji's to the point of having poor Luffy severe food poisoning._

_Sanji: [Crying in the corner, ashamed]_

_Soul: [Sighs] Please Read and Review for the sake of me and Silverwolfsakura16._


	2. Nami's Turn

_This is silverwolfsakura16's part of the story. She only owns Kein, otherwise, the original characters belongs to Odo-sama._

I was checking our position on the maps this morning, like I always do while I am the navigator to the Mugiwara kaizokundan, when our beloved chef walks in with a plate of muffins.

Upon closer inspection with my trained eye, I saw that they had unidentafiable things in them.

"Nami-cwan, want some breakfast? I made these just for you." Sanji said blushing deeply.

Obviously, he had come to me, after finding no one else anywhere to be seen to do the taste testing on those "peticular" muffins of his. Except Luffie(Luffy), the gomu baka, of course.

"One question. How come you didn't go to Luffie(Luffy) first? He's bound to be starving by now." I said, trying to avoid the muffins.

"He already raided the kitchen earlier this morning, so I scrounged up what was left and made these for you."

I felt my face turn green as I thought about what was in those muffins, which wasn't a pretty sight.

I'd better make up an excuse and fast.

"Sorry Sanji-kun, but Chopper brought me something already.." I lied innocently.

I'll probably sneak something from the kitchen when he's not looking later on this morning.

His face fell when he heard what I said.

"**WAIT!!!!!** " A female's voice yelled.

I looked around and saw a short silverhaired girl with wolflike features, and a tall handsome man with shoulder length black hair, even with his sangfroid personality.

"Who are you two?" I asked confused as to how they got on the ship.

[_They ain't characters from this story, their artwork is completely different than ours._

_More complex somehow..._]

"My name is Sakura and this is Kein." she said, motioning to her self and then, the man behind him with her arm as she stepped aside to give me a better look at him.

"I'm one of the authors of this story and Kein is my O.C., this story needs some humor in it, so Kein here will be providing said humor. 'kay I'm leaving. bye." And with those words, she disappeared into thin air. Damn, I am now envious of her skills.

Kein, still standing in the door way, walked over to Sanji-kun.

"So, you can't cook, huh?" he asked, though it seemed he alreay knew the answer before Sanji-kun could reply.

He was smiling, a look that completely enhanced his charming features.

Then when I thought he was going to help.....

"Well, neither can I, so let's go have us a drink and let this **VERY** pretty lady do her work."

At this statement, my mouth fell open. "Say what? Sanji-kun!?!"

My life could not get any weirder.

But then, Kein, opened the door and ran face first in to Zolo.

Both are about the same height so I am surprise to see the resemblance, except Zoro had short green hair and Kein had the long black hair. Reminds me of Robin-neesan.

- **NO YAOI MOMENT!!! SORRY FANGIRLS, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!**-

Zolo apparently thought that Sanji-kun had kicked him and whirled around to retaliate, Kein ducked and Sanji-kun got nailed in the head by Zolo's fist.

By this time, I was on the floor, dying with laughter from the show.

Kein comes over to me while Sanji and Zolo are having a yelling match and makes it seem like he's going to help me up, then starts stroking my arm and once I see what he's getting at, I back hand him in the face.

_Nami: (Disgusted at the sight) SAKURA!! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME HE WAS A PLAYER!!  
Sakura: (Shrugging her shoulders in neutral expression) Sorry, if you knew, then it wouldn't have been funny.  
Nami: (Rolls her eyes in exhasperation) At least you could have given me a clue!  
Sakura: Oh. I did.  
Nami: (Sarcastic) Really..Then what was it.  
Sakura: (To Kein) Kein, would you mind telling her.  
Kein: (Shines his charming personality with rays from the sun) It was my charming good looks and sparkling personalitly! (Strikes a sexy pose)  
Nami: (Speechless) Wow...didn't..see..that..coming.  
Sakura: (Sticks out her tongue at Nami) You're just jealous cause he's mine. (Mmmn...Kein..)  
Nami: (Tone of Grimmjow, but more femenine in her voice, ie dripping with sarcasm) Yeah, SURE I am..._


	3. Usopp's version

The Mishaps of the Strawhat Cook

_A collaborative story by Silverwolfsakura16 and Soultail Omega-Light_

_Authors' Note: This is a small idea that is based on a funny conversation about the events that could happen, might happen when it comes to a certain cook that had lost his touch in culinary arts, thus, it will be a bad week for everyone._

_Disclaimer: We do not own The Mugiwara pirates, Sir Crocodile, nor Sanji, they belong to Odo-sama, Kein belongs to Silverwolfsakura16, the mishaps and other situations are ours._

[_Usopp's Point of View_]

As much as I respect Sanji-san, I have a gut instinct that he's losing his mind for the fact that his meal ideas are flopping out, due to the taste is way off completely.

Even I can't hide the statement of it being so gross, it made my stomach turn in a different direction.

I, Captain Usopp, will get to the bottem of this mystery of Sanji's missing touch.

.....

On the night Luffy got a real bad case of food poisoning, I overheard the conversation between Nami-chan and Sanji about his lack of flare in gourmet expertise, while I was working on a project, i.e. a more powerful slingshot for me to use in tight situations, that I couldn't help in hearing in.

"... Nami-cwan, please hear me out, it wasn't my fault that I have been making dinner that bad, besides, Luffy is stupid enought to eat it at all."

"**I don't care, Sanji-kun!! I just want to see you improved or else, throw you off board on the next stop!! Got me?!?**"

"Yes, mellorine."

Well, I can't actually say that I can blame him for being that way, so I stayed out of that conversation altogether for the sake of my safety.

--------------

In the next morning, after I had to steal something edible from the cabinets when Luffy, "the-idiot-that-is-supposed-to-be-in-bed, resting," ate everything.

The new guy that appeared out of thin air, scares me when he's serious about certain things, so scary that I had to keep my distance away from him while he is around Nami.

"Oi! Long nose!!" Kein called out to me as he stepped into the room where I have my workshop, smiling with his sangfroid mood that it's stupid to my liking.

"Ahh!! What?!?" I screeched as I jumped in fear from him before sighing. "Hi."

"So, you are the marksman, right?" He smirked as he bend forward to see me eye-to-eye, his nose touching mine, -**YAOI FREAKS, SHUT UP!!! NO YAOI FOR YOU!!**- that's it really close to having his face smacked, if Nami hadn't beat me to the punch before.

"Yes. Can I help you..?" I replied as I tried to remain calm as he smirked wider.

"Yeah, are there anymore cute girls on this ship?"

"**GET OUT OF HERE!!**" I shouted as I held out my slingshot to his face.

Oh, that ticked him off royally to the point of me running away in a heartbeat.

----------

Well, Nami had to force Luffy back to bed or she will use her Clima Tact on his butt, which I would laugh if I could, so things were ok.

.....

Well, I wouldn't call that normal, but at least things were more interesting than I imagine as we continue on with our duties.

As for Sanji's cooking, it wasn't getting any better to the point of having Luffy back to strength and the rest of us, we had to skip for our sake.

"I...I... I don't understand... I was the best..., now, I am a failure..." Sanji cried as he curled up in one of the corners in the kitchen that it was embarrassing to the rest of us to see.

"We need to get his confidence back up before we lose not only a cook, but a good friend, you guys." Chopper sighed as he sympathize with Sanji that he try to cheer us up.

"Let's hope you are right, little deer doctor." Kein said as he got the idea.

"I hate this, but I'll do anything to get some decent food again." Zoro said as he was clearly unhappy with the turn of events.

I pray that we may never let Sanji's food keep on here, since some of it is really spoiled and gross that it was unbearable to stand with the smell and awful tastes.

But since I was the one who was chosen to take care of the spoiled food before Luffy gets any worst in the food poisoning department, I had to toss the food onto the sands of Alabasta just to keep the rest of us sane.

---------

Now, we have bigger problems on our hands. The food of Sanji's bad cooking had seep into the sand, thus, it attracted the attention of the fallen Sir Crocodile, which is never good.

"**AHHH COME ON!! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!!**" I shouted as I was shaking in fear at the sight of his return.

"**DAMMIT, SANJI-KUN!! I WILL KILL YOU LATER!!!**" Nami screeched in fury while holding out her Clima Tact to fight with.

"Crap, Luffy is still in the state of having bad food poisoning that he couldn't fight Crocodile again." Chopper said after he return from his check up on Luffy.

"Crap!!" Zoro cursed as he pulled out his katanas and got into his battle position.

"Can't we ever have a break?" I moaned as I lowered my sniper goggles to my eyes to pinpoint the area to strike Crocodile with.

"**HERE HE COMES!!!**" Kein shouted at us as Crocodile arrives at our ship in a sandstorm.

"**OH CRAPPP...**" I said before being engulfed in the sand.

_To be continued...._

_Soul: Ok, that wasn't the way I planned it, but since Sakura and I agreed to work together, I'll use whatever I can in the storyline._

_Usopp: At least, you got my characteristics right, which is a plus._

_Soul: Just be glad I didn't become friends with Perona at Thriller Bark._

_Usopp: Crap!!!_

_Soul: ... Please Read and Review._


	4. Chopper's statements

The Mishaps of the Strawhat Cook

_A collaborative story by Silverwolfsakura16 and Soultail Omega-Light_

_Authors' Note: This is a small idea that is based on a funny conversation about the events that could happen, might happen when it comes to a certain cook that had lost his touch in culinary arts, thus, it will be a bad week for everyone._

_Disclaimer: We do not own The Mugiwara kaizoku, Sir Crocodile, nor Sanji, they belong to Odo-sama, the mishaps and other situations are ours._

[_Tony Tony Chopper's observations_]

Well, in all of my years on Winter Island, facing tough pirates before joining the Mugiwara kaizoku, I never even thought of facing Crocodile since his defeat from Luffy's hand, as to add the proverbial "icing to the cake," he is a walking dead being.

As Zoro, Nami, and Kein were taking care of the forefront in preventing Crocodile from advancing further to the Going Merry [_Gōingu Merī-gō_], Usopp and myself were remaining behind when Luffy is still having the case of food poisoning, thus, he is still in bed.

The remaining person that is on board is the person held responsible for the revival of Crocodile, thus, from what I can tell in my opinion, he was either feeling guilty or something like that, but he had jumped off the ship and ran to join the fight.

"What a baka, but I can't blame him for causing the mess in the first place, so good luck, Sanji." I said to myself as I watched him met up with Nami and the others.

[_From the Crow's nest, halfway into the battle_]

God, I am now starting to regret in staying out of the battlefield, due to seeing Zoro being severely damaged; Nami was getting drained of energy by pushing her endurance to the breaking point; Kein was being blasted by the sandstorm that it was causing him to get really harmed in the abrasive grains of sand; and Sanji is missing his target completely with the storm brewing and Crocodile being a user of the Akuma no Mi [_Devil's Fruit_]_,_ thus it was all up to me and Usopp to level out the battlefield to a normal perspective.

"Usopp!! Can you see Crocodile in that storm?" I shouted down to Usopp, who was hiding behind the main mast in fear.

Usopp was about to complain, but with the conflict of having my anger in using my Rumble balls on him, he decided to not provoke me, thus, he used his sniper goggles to pinpoint Crocodile's position.

"Hai! He is about 30 meters away from here, due North." Usopp replied to him in three minutes of careful observation.

"Good, now try to use something in your arsonal to slow Crocodile down to a normal pace!"

"Yosh!" Usopp said as he went through his sachel of weapons and "bullets" to find a special shot for his slingshot to fire, calling out the attack, "Kaen Boshi!" [_Flaming Star_]

...

We waited for about five minutes until the figure of Crocodile regain his normal form, thus, it bought Nami and the others time to regroup and do a counter on Crocodile, which gave me the chance to join in.

"Come on, Usopp!! We need to help them before they are lost!" I called out to him as I jumped down from the Crow's nest and join in the fight.

"Are you crazy?!? He's a walking dead, for God's sake!!" He argued.

"Do you want our friend's deaths on your head?!" I fought back with my words, which made him see the reason for the arguement, thus, he went with me to stop Crocodile for good.

[_After several struggles of fighting and stragety_]

We did it!! We defeated Crocodile with Nami's Clima Tact [_Kurima Takuto_] by using the Cloudy Tempo/ Rain Tempo combination, thus, Zoro, Sanji, and Kein got the final blows on the dead being of Crocodile, as well as Usopp's arsenal to either slow or stop him on the spot. For my part, I was using my Rumble balls to change into my Guard Point form to protect Nami and Usopp from the swipes of Crocodile's hook.

"That was a close one." Kein breathed as he had his hands behind his head to relax.

"Sanji-kun!! Thank goodness you came!!" Nami cheered as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It was nothing, Nami-cwan." he said.

"He only came for Nami and regaining his pride," Zoro flatly stated as he was being harsh to the situation.

"Oui, you shut up, Marimo!"

"I still can't believe that it took a meal bad enough for human tolerance to revive a dead former shichibukai clan member in the desert of Arabasta." I said as I followed the others back to the Gōingu Merī-gō [_Going Merry_] to check up on Luffy and then, to depart from the country of Vivi's, to continue with our journey to wherever the winds takes us.

[_Later that night_]

Here's the biggest surprise since the defeat of Crocodile, Sanji's touch in cuisene has come back and it was better than before!!

"Thank goodness Sanji-kun has regain his skills since his lack of presence before the arrival of the deceised Crocodile." Nami sighed as she was clearly content with the meal of Sanji's.

And the irony for that meal of the night is that Luffy is still in bed, feeling alone with only soup and some crackers to help him regain strength.

"It's for your own good, Luffy, to remain in bed until you are better. And that's the Doctor's orders." I said to him as I gave him some medicine to calm the stomach down.

"It's still not fair that I am missing out on some good food from Sanji since the night that I felt really green from the food." he muttered as he ate his soup.

I shooked my head and sighed before opening the door to his room, leaving him for the time being.

[_On the topside of the Gōingu Merī-gō_]

I was talking with Usopp, Nami, Kein, and Zoro before we heard another voice that belong to an unknown person that had came onboard without our knowledge, thus, we were shocked and in a position of attacking whoever climb onboard of the Gōingu Merī-gō.

_**To be continued....**_

_Author's note: Since this is really bad in the sentience structure and almost lack of details for the scenery, even the other fighting scenes, I still got it done, but I am giving myself some credit in finding the right words for the Japanese names and battle moves that it matches the techiques that the person uses._

_Chopper: I like the way you made me more sensible around Luffy when he is acting like a child._

_Me: So true. So true._

_Nami: When did Sanji-kun regain his skills?_

_Me: ... After the boost of confidence in fighting against Crocodile with you guys. Double Duh!_

_Sanji: Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine!! _

_Me: Anywho, please stick around for Robin's accounts when it comes around, so R&R. Chao!!_


End file.
